You are not a Buddha, Love yourself for that

I am entangled without any doubt to fame, success and power aggrandizement through acknowledgment, judging. I feel like a mass of selfishness and clouting; and coming across a calmer, purer, joyful ways to experience my life, only makes my mass of composition be agitated more. Only sadness and hardened ways of trying again thickens my density.

Bhagavan says, you are not a Buddha or Ramakrishna. You are horrible, terrible people. And He says, love yourself of that.

Similarly, His disciple Sri Anandagiri says, spiritual people don't like to admit that they are suffering.

Bhagavan appears when I go inside myself. My heart is hard, my mind is agitated and hard too, the feelings are agitated too. And in all this He is there at my heart - not one with my little self, that seems horrible but inspite of that which is me.

The Buddha or the Presence That Is

Thich Naht Hanh - the Vietnamese Buddhist monk who to me radiates holiness and presence and that also through the laughter that twinkles on his face - says that Buddha is the one who is aware of what is going inside him and around him or her, and has a lot of understanding and compassion.

As I too long to be aware as Thich Nhat describes, today while I went for a morning walk I wanted to enjoy the morning outside. But what is the point in getting lost in that Joy! I could only remember either my inside where I was calling on Mother Sarada because I don't know much of the time as to who I am except as a being desperately calling to the Divine forms to be ALONE within me, which Bhagavan describnes is ALL-ONE.

I finally gave up enjoying the coolness of the morning because Mother's Presence was easy to Trust and rely on.