A personal step into Love

I picked a book on 'Healthy Aging' by Dr.Andrew Weil. It made sense because a lot of contents of my living - through relationships, routines, passions and goals, duties - were not making sense for the present condition. Author Caroline Myss's guest teacher of astrology, Lynn Bell speaks of this through the planets of Saturn and Neptune, during when everything that our system depended on is blown out.

Perhaps this is about my getting lost of myself, of the life that is meant to be experienced through my being. It takes no time to take upon the lives of my vibrant children and my husband's role of the noble provider, my parents and their life of parenthood.

Getting lose in other's lives is a revelation that I am pushing life itself, which will create the destiny of pushing myself away from the lives of those whom I hold in much love.

During the moments of my life's activities fortunately streamlined, the pristine clairty of perception reveals the Truth - every one I love is looking for the ego in me. So I move myself into an incessant prayer to not respond through the reactive ego but survive in controlling it.

God, infuse me with the power to hold back my egoic senses and thoughts, so that I will not be the obstacle for the inheritance of love by my children. Removing myself as the object of obstacle from passing on the love, my children will inherit the love of both their grandparents and all of their autns and uncles, and cousins.

Thich Nhat says, 'When I was a child, families were bigger. Parents, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, and children all lived together. The houses were surrounded by trees where we could hand hammocks and organize picnics. In those times, people did not have many of the problems we have today. Now our families are very small, just mother, father, and one or two children. When the parents have a problem, the whole family feels teh effects. Even if the children go into the bathroom to try to get away, they can feel the heavy atmosphere. Thry may grow up with seeds of suffering and never be truly happy. Formerly, when mom and dad had problems, the children could escape by going to an aunt or uncle, or other family member. They still had someone to look up to, and the atmosphere was not so threatening': From 'Peace is Every step', chapter 'Community of Mindful living'.

'If not now when, if not you, who?'.

Mother Sarada, enter my thoughts, forgive all the ways I deeply hurt others, especially those whom I love. Help me rest in You, depend in the security of Your love and be filled in You, so I will not harm one more time.

Sri Bhagavan says the violence is in the humanity, is inside of you. 'There is nothing personal in the human pain', says Eckhart Tolle.

Mother Sarada, help me not be deceived one more time - of the violence as personal. Move me into Your armor that is Compassion. Help me see that the only purpose of my ego is to become the warrior for moving itself to the dynamic field of clarity love and compassion - the only Truth there is.