'I forgive myself'

It has been my life practise to run away from people, especially with those whom I am related to, far and near. I have now studied much about the mysticisms in the cultures and religions, self-empowerment journeys toward authentic power, and about the nature of human consciousness, the universe and the God, that is Oneness.

It is now a gift to feel grounded into life truths, many parts of which has been a result of such studies as well as by the Grace of God.

This morning I decided to share in my writing an important life truth that is helping me to 'truly live', to living 'the inspite of' life.

It is that there is a need in me to relate to others and I have been resisting and running away all my life from that urge in me. In the recent few days though, when someone comes to my mind, first out of love but immediately that association turns to feel unpleasant within me. So my escape way used to be to NOT 'think' about them - I have made myself feel very, very lonely because of this.

It becomes my requirement now with my life's changes to keep pushing whoever comes into my life or heart or thought.

Feeling someone and feeling unpleasant when wanting to relate to them, I thought was a result of my personal negativity and guilt. I now know there are also the collective human mind, the collective human pain and the collective human suffering.

Now when someone comes into my thought and makes me turn unpleasant, I quickly release me into forgiveness and gentleness: 'I forgive myself', 'I forgive myself', I repeat myself.

It becomes less and less scarier to be in the world and yet be getnle with the inner need to be a person of love and 'right' or 'good' thinking.